Confession of a Broken Heart
by Good Omens
Summary: Fem!Percy waits, waits and waits for her father to tell her she is loved. Two-shot but the second chapter is more of a sequel.
1. Confessions of a Broken Heart

**Warning:** Fem!Percy, AU from before Percy found out she's a Demigod… Will probably be a little repetive. I blame the song. xD

**Disclaimer: **I own neither Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father) by Lindsay Lohan nor do I own Percy Jackson.

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><p>Percy had never known her father, never met him, nor had she ever even seen a picture of him… Yet she could barely remember a glowing smile warming her heart.<p>

_I wait for the postman to bring me a letter.  
>And I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better.<br>And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  
>Family in crisis that only grows older.<br>Why'd you have to go?  
>Why'd you have to go?<br>Why'd you have to go?_

She'd waited and waited for him to finally show up, maybe call or even just write a letter… Yet there was nothing. She watched her mother strain herself working; trying in vain to keep food on their table.

That's when Gabriel Ugliano, or as Percy called him; Smelly Gabe, came into the picture. He was the man that held their family tight in his fist; keeping them stuck there and forcing them to center around him and his wishes.

Percy would never understand why her mother married the man but she knew that telling her what exactly Smelly Gabe was capable of would only hurt her.

So she kept quiet of it; taking the weight on her shoulders.

_Daughter to father, daughter to father!_  
><em>I am broken, but I am hoping.<em>  
><em>Daughter to father, daughter to father!<em>  
><em>I am crying; a part of me's dying.<em>  
><em>And these are, these are, the<em>  
><em>confessions of a broken heart!<em>

The only thing keeping her going was the hope of her father coming back to them, the hope that he would save her like a father was supposed to.

Many times had she screamed out in frustration, cried in pain and begged to God himself for her father to come back, to send _him _away and _**save them! **_

_And I wear all your old clothes your polo sweater._  
><em>I dream of another you, one who would never.<em>  
><em>Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces.<em>

_Daddy to hold me; that's what I needed._

According to her mother; the only thing her father had left was her. She'd been given his eyes, his face, his hair, his smile… And she clung to that fact, taking great care of her hair and when she looked into the mirror; it was he that she saw. Not herself.

Sometimes she dreamed, she dreamed of a world where he never left them, a world where they were a family together and where she never had to pick up the pieces of her family.

She dreamed of when he would hold her as she cried; that he'd be there to hold her during heartbreak.

_So, why'd you have to go?_  
><em>Why'd you have to go?<em>  
><em>Why'd you have to go?<em>

Why had he left them? Where was he now? Lost at sea, her mother had said. But he'd gotten lost willingly; why? Why couldn't he have stayed; why couldn't he have made them a family together?

_Daughter to father, daughter to father!_  
><em>I don't know you, but I still want to.<em>  
><em>Daughter to father, daughter to father!<em>  
><em>Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?<em>  
><em>'Cause these are, these are,<em>  
><em>the confessions...! Of a broken heart!<em>  
><em>Of a broken heart!<em>

She'd never known him, no. And sometimes she wondered if he'd loved her mother or herself at all.

_I love you._  
><em>I love you.<em>  
><em>I love you.<em>  
><em>I ... I ... I ...<em>  
><em>I love you!<em>

But, that didn't mean that she didn't love him. Because she did, even if he had abandoned them. She'd always love him at least a little, because he was her father.

_Daughter to father, daughter to father!_  
><em>I don't know you, but I still want to.<em>  
><em>Daughter to father, daughter to father!<em>  
><em>Tell me the truth, did you ever love me?<em>  
><em>Did you ever love me?<em>  
><em>These are the confessions of a broken heart!<em>

So she waited, waited and waited. Perhaps one day, when she met him again, he would tell her the truth of wether he loved her or not and perhaps, one day, she would forgive him. Wether they were dead or alive at the time.

_Oh ... yeah._

Yes, she'd forgive him, she decided. She had to.

_And I wait for the postman to bring me a letter._

All that was left to do, was for her to wait. So she did. She waited, and he told her.

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><p><strong>AN: Uh. That's all. Hope you enjoyed, please review with your opinion of this. **


	2. Broken Strings

**Someone requested a sequel and I got really nice reviews on this oneshot. So I decided I'd do this little thing where I make it a two-shot for those reviewers. Thank you, to you all. I've placed it just as Percy (Fem!Percy of course, here) turns around to leave Poseidon at the end of the first book.**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own absolutely nothing. The song I used for this is Broken Strings by James Morrison so listen to that if you want music with the drabble thing.**

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><p>Maybe disappointment was what she'd have felt, normally. It was a possibility, at least, all things considering but honestly? Percy couldn't find it in herself to truly feel anything for him anymore. He was her father but he was not a good one. Not one she should love anymore. Perhaps she could have told him she loved him, that she loved her father and that he meant something to her, but that would be a lie. Especially now. He might not have deserved her love but he also hadn't deserved being told a lie. It wouldn't be fair of her to lie about this.<p>

He'd broken her. He'd broken her family. He'd ruined them.

She was sure he hadn't meant to, he didn't seem like that kind of man. At least not from the stories her mother had told her. But he had still broken her and now that she saw him for who he was, she didn't want to say those words. She couldn't feel anything that her heart did not want to feel. didn't want to tell him something that wasn't real.

It hurt, it hurt so much she could feel the need to cry, but she wouldn't. Not now, not here. When she was home, when she was alone. When she was safe and there was no one to stay strong for, she would cry. She would hurt and cry and pretend she was alright and she would lie. Because Percy had tried to forgive, had tried to keep hope that there was something, anything, to have love for. But this was not the father she had loved in her mind and heart. This was not the father she had hoped would save them.

It had all been up to Percy, as per usual. And that hurt. Because she'd tried so hard and had only gotten so far, had tried to keep loving him but could only love him a little less than before, it was like running through the fire to save what was left only to find nothing there. Like running after the train only to realize one was much too late. It was like playing house in the middle of ruins and dust and she'd truly tried to forgive but it was not enough to make it okay.

He hadn't been there the times she'd needed him the most and now there were just broken string behind. You couldn't play on broken strings, she couldn't give him anything more when she loved him less and less as time passed without him.

She felt nothing more. But that didn't stop hope from rising just slightly in her chest as he grabbed her to keep her from continuing off.


	3. Nobody's Home

**I couldn't help myself, I had to write this one too. Not sure where to place it but maybe between the first two parts?**

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own absolutely nothing. The song I used for this is Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne so listen to that if you want music with the drabble thing (meaning that the one liners in italics are parts of the song).**

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><p>Percy had known disappointment all of her life. Well, for the parts of her life that she remembered well, that is. Such as school. The teachers were always disappointed with her slow progress, most of them expected her to do better. Nevermind her problems, her dyslexia, she should have been able to handle it all, anyway. That was what she felt they expected of her, yet she never made it all the way up. She even disappointed herself. Not that she let those problems show where everyone could see them, and that might also have been a large part of her troubled life.<p>

She hated it, though. Hated how she couldn't do better, how she couldn't make her mother so proud she'd brag about her at work like any other parent would. Percy would never do good enough, she knew, she would always make those mistakes that dragged her down. In school and in life.

_I couldn't help her, __I just watched her make the same mistakes again._

Her mother had always taken opportunities to tell her small things of her father, but never had she mentioned names where she could hear. Never had she been told of who he was. Only that he was gone. Had disappeared when her mother turned out to be pregnant. All her problems started with her father. So maybe she found herself blaming her so called Father. No. Not just maybe. Definitely.

She definitely blamed _him_ quite a bit for all of this.

If it hadn't been for him, she could have had a proper life. He should have been there, he should have been there to make their house a home.

But all they had was Smelly Gabe.

_Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs._

What else did she have but her mother? Nothing. And sometimes... Sometimes she didn't even have her mother.

For how could she look at her mother and speak up? How could she look into the eyes of this tired woman and tell her everything? Didn't her mother have enough to struggle with besides Percy adding to her problems?

So Percy kept quiet, held her mouth shut, and tried her best to make everything less messy and problematic for her mother. And what did it matter that she sometimes cried herself to sleep in her room, all alone, if her mother could have a good nights rest?

_You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind._

It was rejection, nothing more and nothing less. Rejected by her father, her schools, any possible friends. She would never understand why, only that she wasn't good enough, and wasn't that just great? No.

She'd tried, she really had, to gain friends. She'd been kind, she'd been friendly, she'd been strong and she'd done what she could to help others. Yet every time she thought that this was it, this person would be her friend, now, she'd ended up being proven wrong. For when the bullies came back around and she wasn't strong enough to hit them back, without getting into trouble and dragging any friends with her, no one wanted her.

No one wanted to be friends with her if it meant getting put down, too.

And she was all alone, again. Every single time.

_She can't find her place. __She's losing her faith._

Eventually she decided not to try anymore, she decided not to bother. That it didn't matter. She didn't need any friends. She was fine on her own, all alone, with no one to confide in. She didn't need a friend to run to, she didn't need someone to keep her sane. She didn't need faith that it would all work out in the end.

She didn't need it, but she'd hide that from her mother all the same. Her mother didn't need to worry about her lack of friends, her lack of a place to belong other than in her arms.

_With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes._

Percy was lonely, but she didn't let it show, and when she went to bed at this boarding school, she told herself that it was okay. Though she felt lost, like she had nowhere to go, she told herself that was okay. And when she didn't, when she broke into pieces and no one noticed, that was okay. No one noticed, so no one would worry. No one noticed, so her mother wouldn't have to worry. No one noticed.

_She's lost inside, lost inside._

And if she was crying, no one would ever know, if she shook and curled up on the bed and cried her heart out, that was fine. No one would ever know.


End file.
